Posted in The Messy Life

Year in Review

It seems that everyone on Facebook is posting their “Year in Review” compiled by a little app that combs through your FB page and pulls together a lovely picture album of your year.

I don’t want to click that little tempting button.

I don’t want to see any more about this year because I know what it really looked like.

year in review

(and this is the short version)

January: Began the year with great expectations of having a Year of Restoration. In mid-January I lost my job (or rather, the administration chose not to renew my contract) after trusting leaders with extremely personal information which was then used against me.

February: Dove head first into depression due to job loss and feelings of betrayal. Spent the month frantically looking for jobs elsewhere in order to stay in-country. Found a very promising job and began talks with HR.

March: Chaperoned an overseas trip with students during which I felt useless and unwelcome by fellow leaders who basically never spoke to me, followed by the worst long-term food poisoning I have every suffered through (1 week). Oh, and that happened during Spring Break, while my husband recovered from surgery removing a golf-ball sized tumor which he worried may be cancerous. Thankfully, it wasn’t.

April: Still talking with potential job. 2nd Interview. Hopeful. However, leadership told my husband if I didn’t find a job elsewhere in-country, his contract would not be renewed either. The month ended with him being told that “they” had hired someone for his position, and he would be required to train the new guy, and if he didn’t, they wouldn’t pay my husband.

May: Shocked, hurt, and angry at our job loses, we moved forward, still hoping to find a new in-country apartment and new jobs. My husband got a job offer from a local company and hung out with them a few days. We visited numerous apartments, trying to find the perfect fit for our family. HOWEVER, at the end of May our current employers canceled our work visas. This made it impossible for us to sign a lease and illegal for us to continue working. There was one week left in the school year. When faced with the facts that they were breaking the law, our employer asked for our keys and kicked us off campus and locked us out of all e-mail and databases within 24 hours–making it impossible to complete any work I had left undone. They also said our children couldn’t attend the last 4 days of their school year.

June: Forced to move back to the States. With no work visas in hand to sign a new lease and no firm job offer yet, we had no other options. So we moved back and lived with my parents. At the end of the month, we received notice that our former employer would NOT be paying me my last month’s pay because I didn’t finish the year. So basically, because I refused to work illegally and because I couldn’t access any of the online databases, they didn’t pay me.

July: Lived with my parents. The fog of stress and depression is starting to lift, but who can tell when you’re just so tired from it all.

August: Started looking for a house to rent in the area. Not as easy as it sounds. Found a nice older home with tons of room. Finally, something good. We also start homeschooling (’cause I like to keep things simple, right?)

September: Moved into our new house. Thankful. But we have no furniture since we sold most of everything we had before going overseas.

October: Learned that life goes on. The emotional roller coaster of  repatriation is still running, and apparently I have season tickets. Can’t say I’m happy to be back in the US. Everyone seems crazy to me.

November: Enjoyed the seasons. Fall has been wonderful. Thanksgiving feels good. Happy to be near family again.

December: The year is finally coming to a close. GLORY! Christmas is in just a few days. It’s exciting. 🙂

Despite my hatred for most things in 2015, I have learned a few things throughout this craptastic year. And maybe I’ll write about them next year.

One, Jesus was betrayed by the leaders of the church, so why should I be surprised when religious people betray me. How hurt His heart must have been!

Two, Our year started with the hope that it would be a Year of Restoration. After leaving my high-stress job, I am starting to see this happen. I believe my relationship with my kids has been restored since we are now homeschooling, and I get to be home with them.

Three, Depression is a dark pit full of water that ebbs and flows, and as you sit in your little boat sometimes you rise high enough to catch a glance of the sun and other times you sink and knock against the sides of the pit just barely hanging on.

Four, Forgiveness is not a one time gig. It’s daily. It’s hourly. On bad days it’s minute by minute.

Five, Love is the greatest, and hope does not disappoint.

So as the calendar rolls around to 2016, I for one will give a hearty cheer of Good Riddance and a big &*$% you to 2015. And then I’ll turn my face to 2016 and bask in the radiant beams of newness and hope.

12 thoughts on “Year in Review

  1. Wow. That is an incredibly brutal year and thank you for sharing it with us. I had no idea you guys were going through this dark valley. You and your family are in my prayers. One question: have you found a spiritually healthy church?

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  2. Jenny, the last time I visited here it was just to find the Poetry Hop post. Told myself I’d circle back around for more of Jenny. Just did. Oh. My. Although this post was so heavy and it made me sad to think of all that you have gone through, I also felt a sort of instant connection – relating to the pain of betrayal and depression at least. I got to this post through the forgiveness one. As soon as I submit this I’m goin’ back to that one to leave a comment there, too. Hard to flip your heart inside out and dump it into a blog post as you’ve done here. But I’d bet you’ve blessed and encouraged many. One for sure that I know of. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awww, Lynna. Thank you for the kind comment. My blog is a work in progress, so it will be undergoing some changes in the coming weeks. 🙂 I so appreciate your support. Thank you!

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